WISE UP

Beck

Everybody's gotta learn sometime

I hope this claim is true. It sounds so logical, what's more. My question is - does learning happen rarely or frequently? Is this question a prudent one? Do we really ever learn? And what do we learn? What's the subject of our learning?

The subject is the mistakes.

My experience is that I do learn from my mistakes but alas, oftentimes forget what I learned. Forgetfulness has a high price. 

They say that learning is a lifelong process. I agree with this statement.

What I don't like are the mistakes that happen again and again. I think the mistakes repeating is the sign that something has to change. 

I should wise up. Easier said than done.

Some say people don't change. Some say people change. Probably the truth is somewhere in between. I think we humans are often afraid of change because change is something mystical, unknown, exotic, attractive and yet repulsive.

We are so made up of contradictions and paradoxes. I want to change yet I am afraid of the unknown, unexplored, unexpected or uncertainty it brings. So I rather remain in my secure but dull little world being afraid of failure. That's why change is repugnant.

Another question comes up.

Aimee Mann, Wise Up

How do I wise up and stop myself from rehashing the same mistakes? In my opinion, I should write down everything I learned, including my flaws and weaknesses with brutal honesty and clarity. There's nothing to lose but pride that's really an obstacle towards growth, thus blocking the way to the depression.

I should write everything ruthlessly, so I don't forget. Then I should read what I wrote as many times possible to remember my flaws by heart. So, for instance, next time I meet someone I truly like I hope I will try not to get overwhelmed by my infatuation or rush into making a cocoon the butterfly. 

Yes, this doesn't sound silly like it was supposed to. Ah, maybe next time. Fingers crossed.