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Alien life forms are all over the place more than we think. Every time you try to establish contact with them it can get very hard at one point getting along with them because they are reluctant to respond, they are just simply bored of you and have found someone else more interesting.
They usually complain nobody understands them. They become depressed and angry. The only way they can get better is through true communication but not a seemingly true communication. True communication to me is communication where both parties want to hear without the desire just to be heard.
There is nothing wrong in only being heard if that activity isn`t overindulged in. I have some friends who come to me for moaning sessions about life, how bad they are treated at work, or by other friends, family or acquaintances. I don`t mind being a shoulder to cry on, but sometimes they sort of forget to ask me how I am feeling about anything.
I was thinking about this phenomenon of being somebody's shoulder ending up filled with anger or drained. Who is going to hear me? Is it my fault for not telling my friends "hey, don`t you want to reciprocate, can`t I share my troubles?" Obviously, I never asked so it must be my fault. Is that alienation?
Alienation has become like a disease spreading slowly but progressively though each new generation that is born into the world. It seems today we only care about food, health, education, consumerism, getting enough sleep, exercising and instant gratification. That's all very well but not nearly enough. This program fails because it doesn`t have the crucial ingredients, i.e. meaning and substance.
Meaning and substance would be spirituality, ethics, good communication, learning how to love and respect one another, among others. It seems to me these are not taught in schools so they are left for parents to fill in. Do they have the awareness to teach children how to, e.g., communicate better? Do they have time for that?
We all tend to teach children how to react when an issue is raised, like, do I tell my kid to punch in the face the other in the act of retaliation. We all know that`s not a right thing to advise. Maybe we should teach our kids beforehand and then tell them maybe to fight back. Maybe we should teach them to try to respect themselves first and then other kids. I don't have the answer to that.
True communication begins when you have something of substance to convey. One of the perks of these times is a lack of substance in communication, relationships, mass media, art. I'm not trying to say there's no meaning to be found in any of these, but I think we should be careful not to lose meaning in all that never-ending talking.
We are social beings and we think, feel, want, have needs, etc and if we want to eat or help anyone we need to use our power of speech and vocal apparatus. We need to cognitively form and finally utter the message for it to be received by the recipient.
That sounds so simple and natural. But we seem to make it complicated. We talk a lot but seem to say almost next to nothing. We seem to increasingly effuse sentences aimed at creating endless monologues about ourselves. I, I, and only I.
Everything is about me. So how do you respond to I-I people. You don't have another choice if you want to maintain even an air of relation with another but to resign to this manner of communication. You can't go against the current, so you just add to the problem. You can't teach old dog new tricks.
We are social beings and we think, feel, want, have needs, etc and if we want to eat or help anyone we need to use our power of speech and vocal apparatus. We need to cognitively form and finally utter the message for it to be received by the recipient.
That sounds so simple and natural. But we seem to make it complicated. We talk a lot but seem to say almost next to nothing. We seem to increasingly effuse sentences aimed at creating endless monologues about ourselves. I, I, and only I.
Everything is about me. So how do you respond to I-I people. You don't have another choice if you want to maintain even an air of relation with another but to resign to this manner of communication. You can't go against the current, so you just add to the problem. You can't teach old dog new tricks.
So, it seems to me all we do is have long monologues instead of dialogues or conversations, which further add to alienation.
Aliens actually seem to never want to strive to understand anyone truly, but they want to be understood. A little egotistical.
Aliens just talk but there's no communication. They complain of being misunderstood, misinterpreted, that people fail to reason logically, that they are fuzzy, not thinking clearly, endlessly rambling instead of learning to clearly express themselves. But do aliens truly want to listen to the other person or do they are just in love with the sound of their own voices?
With this type of failure to communicate aliens end up feeling lonely, sad, pessimistic, misunderstood and scared they will live for the rest of their lives alone. What's worse, some of them think they deserve it, probably because they don't want to change or they lack the will to change. What they also seem to lack is the willingness to try and listen, or share a meaningful, profound experience they possess. Because when you listen to the other person, under the condition they are sharing their troubles, anxieties, etc. you get out of your head, you become selfless and you really, truly listen. See, that's not hard.
It's just a matter of willingness, a matter of trial and failure. Just try to listen, maybe in silence without interruptions and questions. Sometimes people only want to be heard in their endless monologues. It took me years to realize and accept that as a fact. I refused to accept it because I had an embedded notion in my brain, that I'd read somewhere before, that we should show to the other person that we are listening to them by asking questions, adjusting our body language accordingly, and so on.
That's all very good, but also robotic. We are not supposed to be programmed by psychologists to have a response and body language for every situation or conversation. Where is spontaneity in all that? I'm not trying to say that it is easy to be spontaneous and that it is achievable at all times. I'm not saying you shouldn't be asking any questions for clarification. But I think we lose spontaneity if we follow certain psychological patterns dictated by the world. It's hard to be spontaneous when we are faced with parental, social or inner restrictions that coerce us into behaving appropriately to be accepted.
Don't show
sadness, anger, resentment. Grin and bear it, and everyone will accept you. That idea sounds silly as ever when you utter it out loud. Of course, we won't be accepted or loved just because we don't show anger. Putting on social masks will probably make you a better actor at best. There's nothing wrong in putting on social graces because they make our lives much easier. When we open the door for someone or say thank you, we make life easier for someone else and for ourselves. We gain respect. Social graces are good but they are not an end in itself.
It's just a matter of willingness, a matter of trial and failure. Just try to listen, maybe in silence without interruptions and questions. Sometimes people only want to be heard in their endless monologues. It took me years to realize and accept that as a fact. I refused to accept it because I had an embedded notion in my brain, that I'd read somewhere before, that we should show to the other person that we are listening to them by asking questions, adjusting our body language accordingly, and so on.
That's all very good, but also robotic. We are not supposed to be programmed by psychologists to have a response and body language for every situation or conversation. Where is spontaneity in all that? I'm not trying to say that it is easy to be spontaneous and that it is achievable at all times. I'm not saying you shouldn't be asking any questions for clarification. But I think we lose spontaneity if we follow certain psychological patterns dictated by the world. It's hard to be spontaneous when we are faced with parental, social or inner restrictions that coerce us into behaving appropriately to be accepted.
Don't show
sadness, anger, resentment. Grin and bear it, and everyone will accept you. That idea sounds silly as ever when you utter it out loud. Of course, we won't be accepted or loved just because we don't show anger. Putting on social masks will probably make you a better actor at best. There's nothing wrong in putting on social graces because they make our lives much easier. When we open the door for someone or say thank you, we make life easier for someone else and for ourselves. We gain respect. Social graces are good but they are not an end in itself.
When we learn to truly listen to the other we become capable of being heald from our own alienation. We kind of step into another dimension, into the world of another human being. Now, going around another human being's planet requires attention, care and other skills that enable us to successfully establish and maintain not only communication but a relationship of substance and meaning.
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