Reaching out to ghosts, or the infinite loop of the why and on using your cortex

 Somehow I made myself make the same mistake again. The sentence sounds awful. Actually, I am talking about bad habits. I have to come to terms with making the same mistake again, but I can't. Because I'll have to admit to myself that I am utterly and irreparably stupid.

 Unfortunately, I very well understand the lyrics of the Whole in My Soul by Aerosmith. Some people try all the drugs (like Steven), and some don't try any (like mine).  However, sometimes it seems to me that there is no worse drug than "love" (that's like, I love him / her and she / he is totally ignorant of it, doesn't care or just can't reciprocate).

When this number was released in 1997, I remember and admit it was just another song about broken hearts, etc. Little did I know that the future will be filled with headaches,etc.

I think it's a good idea to write a letter to the Editor-in-chief with a single line, i.e."Why?"

Why is that thing happening? Making mistakes is hard enough, but repeating them is the hardest part. Mainly because I know it's entirety my fault. I'm not learning something here.

 The answer to the "why" is always the same: "When you grow up, you'll understand."  Or "You better not ask why."

Either way, I can only say thanks for the answer but also I must add in all honesty:

 "I really hate all this growing up thing, learning and such like. How long will it take? And Why?"  

 The answer is self-evident.  🙄

 "Because you can."

 🤣🤪

Plus, the lyrics talk about a hole created by too much expectation, anticipation of something that might be but it doesn't live up to anything. Like you are reaching out to ghosts. Some people, like me, have hard time filling that whole or we fill it by reaching for ghosts. The worst part is that it never happened to me before. Judging by this song this kind of thing happens to some people. They write poetry, make music or movies about it and we, the gullible, who read, listen and watch think "oh, what a cheesy poem/song/movie". Until one day the last laugh is on you baby.

If the thing of reaching out to ghosts happens too often again and again then it is no wonder you start blowing flames and fumes. And face it, it's your fault in it's entirety.

And as if this whole is not enough, you want out of the situation why don't you end it? No, you seem to like it and you want them to end it. Isn't that like a drug? Isn't that insane? Yes it very bloody well is. Why? It's like the Radiohead song, where that person you really like keeps you high and dry. And that's exactly why you want more. Because foolishly you expect the rain to fall when you well know it won't. 

The major advice here is "snap out of it". 

Easier said than done.

Conclusion: The loop.

That's why people write scripts like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Just erase my memory, or erase ME. So I might end up in someone else's dream or memory and lose myself completely.

If there's such a drug or a software.

Nope.

So what do you do?

Use your frontal lobe and cortex. As oftentimes as you can. 

Good night and good luck!

On repeat: