I started writing this entry in Serbian and then continued in English. This is happening to me for the first time. Since I wanted to avoid that Frankenstein piece of writing to see the light of day, a thought I entertained for a second but discarded altogether, I translated the Serbian part of the text into English and then will, in turn, translate the whole thing into Serbian and put it in the Serbian language blog.
Ryunosuke Akutagawa was a Japanese short story writer, also known in Japan as the father of short stories. The most famous story is "In the Grove" which Akira Kurosawa used for his Rashomon. My first encounter with this writer was through a book with Christian stories in Japan. The stories are weird, but they are written superbly. You are just drawn in.
What is important for this entry is that at the end of the book there were his biography and his photograph. The first thing I thought when I saw the pensive, intelligent, elongated face of the writer was as if I saw a subtle sensitive human being, sensitive as a butterfly. Sounds a bit pathetic. But you can see on his face that he was haunted by some restless thoughts and whatnot. I can only imagine how he looked in real life. Obviously, he was a slender man. Sensitive and vigorous, as I can read on from his face. That`s my impression. For some reason, he reminded me of Prince. Both went into the arms of their angles too soon.
And once again, for some inexplicable reason, I am drawn to the author more than his craft. There is nothing here you will read that will tell you about him or his art or the way of writing. I think I am just writing from the heart that feels for someone that existed a long time ago in another time and space. Have you ever felt that ineffable tingling in your heart when you come across something or someone unfamiliar and yet known? Is my mind playing tricks with me?
Sometimes, you just come across some kind of beauty, and you are rendered speechless. You suddenly run out of thoughts, words, feelings and you are like a well without water. You just stay present in that feeling, if it could be called a feeling. Definitely, it is nothing of any human logic and it seems it indeed has got anything to do with earthly logic. As if it is an encounter in a moment out of this world, out of time. In matters of the heart, no one is knowledgeable. That is my premise. Everything seems elusive and evanescent. So therefore it is hard to describe or explain what I am trying to say here, but I am sure many of you have experienced it.
The ineffable joy of encountering something or someone familiar. I believe that the soul of the author or a writer or a painter is subconsciously poured out into the pages he wrote or painted. That soul is not visible all the time or not at all, but it is there hovering like a ghost over the pages or canvas, or peeping shily through the sentences or colors, or the speech uttered by his protagonists. Therefore if my soul or heart can feel that, the better. This is probably why I have a feeling like I know him. Even though I know nothing of him or next to nothing about his life. All I know is that he killed himself and that makes me love his soul even more. Absurd as it might seem or sound, preposterous, illogical, or stupid and a waste of time to stop in your tracks, in a day to think about some Japanese writer is, to me, a reward in itself. A joy in itself. Not stupidity.
There is a lot of anthropology and collective unconscious in his stories, demons, ghosts haunting the living, preventing them from being courageous. When I write anthropology I mean our collective unconscious. The fear of the demons, the dark, the unknown shadow in the heart of our hearts with monsters lurking. Not only that. When reading his short stories you can easily relate to that time historically. You have a period movie going on in your head.
So there is an anthropological, cultural, historical, personal, and even a cinematic level in which we can connect to Akutagawa or rather his work.
Anyway I am enchanted by Akutagawa. It will remain so I am sure for the rest of my life.
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