THE INFINITE GREATNESS


 "Search for the love that never says no"

Does that love exist?

Where can it be found if it does?

Many a love I encountered, said no to me or just 

disappeared without a trace or slammed its doors in my face

All those ghosts chasing other ghosts, ghosting, losing phones, losing phone numbers

Losing people thinking there are lots of others just waiting for them

Where do the ghosts go?

When will they find themselves and where? 

On busy streets, stumbling over their own drunkenly thoughts,

Frantic anxieties of chasing the crumbs of the bread

that never fall from the tables 

Because the tables and hearts are empty 

While the hunger of the heart cannot be quenched; 

The heart has no bottom

It`s a well of wonders and tears.


This poem or my attempt to arrange the words into something called a "poem" are rather confusing to me. First, love that never says no does not exist in this world. What exists, seems to me is the love with the walls; the walled well-fortified love, that defends itself from another attempting to send love to them. Sending love by the broken wire. Hoping the message will reach the destination. Does that make any sense? We are all encompassed by the walls of disappointment, fear, hardness, coarseness - what is meant to mean we are adults. How miserable to be such an adult, inst` it? Slightly irritating when you have to use all your might and life's energy to just poke a little hole in the wall of such adults. And all the while they want to be loved and search around the world for the love.

Futile because there is no real love without real life. There is just this half-hearted rushing to and for that we call life. The end product is there is no stillness. Let me not start with that. When my nearest and dearest fail to understand me. Who else will? And what is there to understand? Let us just live and learn. Let`s just stop analyzing one another because that will hinder us, set us back to the same old beginnings like the poor old Sisiphus. We end up the same old stupid dreamers that think everything will change by itself and we are just to sit and wait, pretending that the job we do is the most important thing to us. No doubt it is important but then we end up feeling there is something missing. We are chasing perfect love, perfect freedom. But the love of who or what? Freedom for or from who or what?

It is all happening like that because we fail to search for the stars. We forget about the stars and try to reach them. I am serious. If we fail to fill our hearts with true love, true stars, then we fail. Street bums seem to know something that we fail to see. Look for the stars, look for love, look for freedom not outside of ourselves but within ourselves. There is freedom inside that can never be taken from you, that can make you be with almost anyone and everyone. From beasts to street bums. The freedom that you can cultivate and that will make you understand everything with the infinite greatness that is within you. 


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