He was
fragile, yet strong inside. His father wanted to make Kafka what Kafka was not.
Why do some parents want to do that? Why don`t they just try to see the simple
fact that their child is different from them, even drastically so? The premise
here, not a piece of advice, for a parent, would be this, try to think of your child as an entity, being of its
own, a product of you but different than you.
The difference between a parent and a child could be such that it is inaccessible, leaving the parent helpless. This inaccessibility should not be seen as an obstacle even if it is an obstacle. Rather, it could be seen as a challenge.
It could be seen as a temporary, imaginary obstacle, or as an insurmountable one. Given our inner unconscious world being of the tremendous influence on our conscious life, everyday thoughts and the consequential behaviour, we can easily understand how we are all engulfed in our unconscious world and how we are sometimes run by it without realizing it, without ever noticing.
The universal opinion is that Kafka`s father was a tyrant, a narcissist. Maybe so. However, when you start reading Kafka`s letter to his father you come across something unexpected. You realise that there is no bitterness in the lines he wrote.
On the contrary, there is only forgiveness and an effort of trying to understand such a person. Kafka succeeded, in my opinion, in understanding the difference between himself and his father.
The strength of Kafka`s lay in knowing himself. The honest truth about who you are and your relationship with another human is what makes you a great larger than life person With such a keen eye for the exquisite detail as to the reasons why their relationship was doomed to failure and the consequential spirit of liberation emanating from every line he wrote leaves one totally aback.
It seems to me that these strange times full of anger and fury at everyone and everything makes our souls coarser and harsher without our noticing it. Reading Kafka`s letter made me think about my relationship with my parents and others. It made me ask myself whether I take people for granted, without being thankful I have them in my life. Yes, I must admit I am ungrateful and yes I do take people especially friends for granted. I am not looking for excuses. Understanding, yes.
Reading Kafka`s letter teaches me how to be more forgiving even when I am not in the mood for forgiveness. There are things I should forgive myself and my parents, like egotism, not being more open and honestly expressing our thoughts to each other. I am aware that not everything should be said, but certain things should be put out in the open or else they will accumulate and blow up.
I would tell Kafka`s father and my parents to understand that we, their kids, can be totally different than them and that is why they have trouble understanding us. Sometimes I think that man has layers like the geology of Earth`s crust. There are layers and layers to be discovered.
Don`t bother trying to figure out everything because you just can`t. Just let us be as we are. I would say that to my friends and anyone who tries to change me without first trying to change themselves. Please, listen to this - try first changing yourself before you try to change someone else.
Making that change happen requires you to stop lying about who you are and being open with yourself, first. That`s not easy because we all like to hide. But there`s no hiding. Eventually, everything comes to light. You just have to get sick and tired of living a lie.
"When we reduce each other to symbols or representations, rather than see each other as the complex, flawed human beings that we are, we engage in the very antithesis of mercy — heartlessness, condemnation and sanctimoniousness. Within this baleful clamour the luminous spirits of compassion retreat." N. Cave
The difference between a parent and a child could be such that it is inaccessible, leaving the parent helpless. This inaccessibility should not be seen as an obstacle even if it is an obstacle. Rather, it could be seen as a challenge.
It could be seen as a temporary, imaginary obstacle, or as an insurmountable one. Given our inner unconscious world being of the tremendous influence on our conscious life, everyday thoughts and the consequential behaviour, we can easily understand how we are all engulfed in our unconscious world and how we are sometimes run by it without realizing it, without ever noticing.
The universal opinion is that Kafka`s father was a tyrant, a narcissist. Maybe so. However, when you start reading Kafka`s letter to his father you come across something unexpected. You realise that there is no bitterness in the lines he wrote.
On the contrary, there is only forgiveness and an effort of trying to understand such a person. Kafka succeeded, in my opinion, in understanding the difference between himself and his father.
The strength of Kafka`s lay in knowing himself. The honest truth about who you are and your relationship with another human is what makes you a great larger than life person With such a keen eye for the exquisite detail as to the reasons why their relationship was doomed to failure and the consequential spirit of liberation emanating from every line he wrote leaves one totally aback.
It seems to me that these strange times full of anger and fury at everyone and everything makes our souls coarser and harsher without our noticing it. Reading Kafka`s letter made me think about my relationship with my parents and others. It made me ask myself whether I take people for granted, without being thankful I have them in my life. Yes, I must admit I am ungrateful and yes I do take people especially friends for granted. I am not looking for excuses. Understanding, yes.
Reading Kafka`s letter teaches me how to be more forgiving even when I am not in the mood for forgiveness. There are things I should forgive myself and my parents, like egotism, not being more open and honestly expressing our thoughts to each other. I am aware that not everything should be said, but certain things should be put out in the open or else they will accumulate and blow up.
I would tell Kafka`s father and my parents to understand that we, their kids, can be totally different than them and that is why they have trouble understanding us. Sometimes I think that man has layers like the geology of Earth`s crust. There are layers and layers to be discovered.
Don`t bother trying to figure out everything because you just can`t. Just let us be as we are. I would say that to my friends and anyone who tries to change me without first trying to change themselves. Please, listen to this - try first changing yourself before you try to change someone else.
Making that change happen requires you to stop lying about who you are and being open with yourself, first. That`s not easy because we all like to hide. But there`s no hiding. Eventually, everything comes to light. You just have to get sick and tired of living a lie.
"When we reduce each other to symbols or representations, rather than see each other as the complex, flawed human beings that we are, we engage in the very antithesis of mercy — heartlessness, condemnation and sanctimoniousness. Within this baleful clamour the luminous spirits of compassion retreat." N. Cave
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